The Dilemma of Nigerians Abroad & Slavery of those in Nigeria under Toxic relationship with their “Rulers”

A place is not a home without the people you love. Japa can be difficult to understand when someone is culturally ignorant.

In order to determine someone’s future, it is prudent to determine their past.

Nigeria is the Extended Family.

We value interconnectivity & proximity. We are big on closure, Nigerians like to know what happened to their families & relationships.

Most Nigerians grew up in abusive relationships: japa’d at 25, battled depression, anxiety & joblessness; struggled to get food, & then migrated to a foreign country.

Young Nigerians are fighting anxiety & separation issues. Separation from their country & the ones they left behind.

Many have schizophrenia from less & less social interactions. Abroad? there is a chance your circle could get smaller & smaller.


Try & give us a break from all the emotional blackmail, & the gaslighting. We are nostalgic & lethargic; we’re fighting to keep the happy memories, while creating new ones.

For many abroad, loneliness does get to us. For the most part, japa seems to be a soirée, only there are no people & no music. You play & dance to the motifs all by yourself. It’s a lonely life some of us are living.

Nigeria is the father that don’t know where most of his children are. Most of us have abandonment issues.

Children as little as 5 are left to beg on the streets. Imagine a life without no one. Days turn to nights, & the fading of time brings destitution & hunger.


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You wake up by the street corner without a shower, teeth brushing, or food. Many Nigerians were taken from their parents by their country. When rulers mess up a country? japa is the result.

The social distancing abroad is not by choice. You are segregated from the society, no thanks to your place of birth. At first, there are culture shocks; you don’t fit in, life is a constant struggle.

You develop new set of social skills, but they ain’t enough. You become more & more reclusive. Some days you just want to lay in the recliner, & cover yourself with blanket. Then the thought of home starts to creep in. Suddenly, nostalgia ferry you to Narnia (your own alternate reality).

The longing for home can be so depressing. Somedays, you just want to leave for Nigeria, then you remember the Police Brutality, no light, insecurity, & the harassment from the EFCC. Then you escape to Wonderland, because that is the only thing that makes sense.

In many ways, been born a Nigerian, life already led you 10 : nil. It’s a hard life that Nigerians are living. Hustle today, hustle tomorrow? it changes nothing!

In some ways, Nigeria mirrors a Colony. You have social workers & their masters. In an Asylum, only the lucky ones manage to escape. In a menagerie for wild beasts? escape is a forlorn hope, survival is your priority.

Nigerians are in abusive relationship with their “rulers” who are tone deaf. The rulers threw a lavish party to mark Democracy Day. They had food & lots to drink; plus leftovers to throw away.

The children of the poor were kept a thousand leagues away from the table. They didn’t even get to see the crumbs, otherwise reserved for Aso Rock pets.

While all of these go on, Nigerians pay attention & take notes. Having conquered the people, Nigerians can do nothing. There will be no bonfires, no protests. People will continue to live in peace under great fear.

It’s the “Pax Nigeriana” that Nigerians are living. When pushed to the wall, Nigerians enter wall. Everyone have dug up a hole for themself, & buried their heads in defeat.

Having been bought, the elders now put on the cloak of deceit & lies. Still, we march! We march on, because that is the only choice we have.

Our hope is that someday, somehow, our victory will trump the brutality.

And when the “righteous” are finally in the saddle, your pent-up euphoria will erupt like a volcano. From that moment on, Patriotism shall be the anthem, the mood of all Nigeria.

– written by Nefertiti

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